Hello lovely,

I’m Aisling.

I am a 37 year old mother of two beautiful and spirited young girls (Faith aged 2 and Gloria aged 1). Before becoming a mother I reckoned that motherhood would be something I would easily add to my life, just another strand of my life that I would manage. A child would just slot in nicely and nothing else would need to change. I had done a lot of inner work, invested in lots of coaching, personal growth programmes and spiritual experiences. I was a qualified coach who had over 500+ hours of coaching experience and had worked with hundreds of women through one-to-one coaching, group coaching, workshops and womens circles. Empowerment was “my thing”, so I felt fairly ready and equipped for this next step. And then came the unravelling.

My first born, Faith, arrived in February 2021 during Covid. The lack of in person supports at this time, my daughters cleft lip and palate diagnosis (which meant many medical appointments in those newborn days and 3 surgeries in the first 18 months of her life) and my own melanoma diagnosis when Faith was just 6 months old and I had just returned to work meant that my whole world was turned upside down in a very short space of time. Thankfully Faiths surgeries were successful, I got the all clear and I quickly became pregnant again. It has been a whirlwind and a lot to process and navigate. And so, it wasn’t all plain sailing as I naively expected that my journey into motherhood might have been.

Outside of the health challenges that we faced as a family, some of the greatest personal challenges that I have experienced in my own matrescence journey have been managing my energy and my emotions. As someone who is naturally more introverted, I found it incredibly difficult to adapt to no longer having that space and time to myself to read, write, explore, be creative, reflect, connect with myself and re-energise. It felt claustrophobic at times and in those rare and brief moments where I had a bit of time to myself I found it extremely challenging to prioritise myself over the housework and family admin that demanded my attention as the default parent. The feelings of frustration and rage would grow to intense levels as I felt there was no window for me to even begin to get to know this new version of myself, a woman I didn’t recognise. Prior to children I had dreams and goals. I was motivated by external indicators of success. Suddenly everything had shifted. My interests, my values, my definition of success had all changed. I felt disconnected from myself and from others as I couldn’t quite put into words what I was experiencing. Both of my birthing experiences had been the most deeply spiritual experiences I’ve had and the love and gratitude that I felt for my babies was enormous and at the same time I couldn’t see the way forward; I couldn’t see how I could keep running on empty and feeling so chaotic. What made this all the more challenging was that I didn’t feel I had the voacabulary to speak to anyone about the duality of what I was experiencing and it didn’t seem like anybody else was talking about it either.

Upon searching the internet to understand more deeply what I was experiencing, I came across the term “matrescence” and the work of a woman called Amy Taylor Kabazz. For the first time in a long time, someone was speaking my language. If you’ve never heard of the term “matrescence”, it was coined by the anthropologist Dana Raphael and is defined as the process of becoming a mother. It’s a word that described the physical, psychological and emotional changes that people go through during the monumental transformation that is motherhood. Finally I felt seen and understood and a lot less alone. The simple acknowledgement that becoming a mother is a huge, complicated life transition that can rock every fibre of a persons being gave me comfort and allowed me to exhale, knowing that it wasn’t just me. When I discovered that Amy ran a 5 month course called Mama Rising that would allow me to process my own matrescence journey and continue to support women in a new and profound way as they naviagte their own matrescence journeys, it was a full body YES! Besides providing a space and a container for a deep personal journey and the exploration of my own matrescence, this course has provided me with the knowledge and skills to support and guide you through the beauty and confusion of this discovery process and to help you to get to know yourself again - as a woman and a mother (regardless of what season of motherhood you are in).